The idea of
MACHETE !!!!!! came to Rodriguez while he was making
Desperado. He got to know Danny Trejo who had a part as a hit-man who specializes in knives. Trejo and Rodriguez are distant relations but didn’t know each other till they met on the set of
Desperado. Trejo a genuine bad ass having spent most of his youth in and out of juvie for crime and drug abuse. Eventually ending up in prison. While in prison he kicked his drug habit and become California State Prison Champion in both the light and welterweight divisions. The guy is a bad ass and has a lot of screen presence, too be honest when ever I saw him I thought he’s end up as the Mexican badass/henchman in lots of films. A bit like Al Leong is the Asian bad ass/henchman. You probably don’t recognize his name but when you see his
face you’ll know him. Anyway when Rodriguez met Trejo he thought he was the scariest looking guy he had ever met and should be the Mexican “Jean-Claude Van Damme or Charles Bronson”.
Trejo even had a documentary
Champion made about him back in 2005.
So Rodriguez decided to build a character around Trejo and thus
MACHETE !!!!!! was born. His first incarnation was as Isador
MACHETE !!!!!! Cortez in
Spy Kids. He’s the brother in-law of Antonio Banderas’s character and reprised the role for all 3 of the Spy kids films.

In 2007
MACHETE !!!!!! was back again in the previously mentioned fake trailer for
MACHETE !!!!!! inserted into the
Grindhouse double bill feature.
I should mention I was surprised how incredibly close the original 2007 trailer for
MACHETE !!!!!! is to the 2010
MACHETE !!!!!! film. Bar a couple of actor changes a lot of the set ups are exactly the same.
MACHETE !!!!!!
MACHETE !!!!!! picks up somewhere in Mexico and we are immediately dropped into the action as
MACHETE !!!!!! and his partner are racing their Federale (Mexican bad ass cops “like the FBI, CIA and DEA, all rolled into one mean burrito!”) car to save a kidnapped girl from a vicious gang. But things aren’t that simple as the higher ups have told them not to go in and that they’ll be killed and kicked off the force.
MACHETE !!!!!! makes it clear that he’s going in to save the girl, his partner lets him know what ever happens he’s on his side.
MACHETE !!!!!! is a maverick badass. Thank god he’s on our side.
They crash threw the wall of the gangs hideout and
MACHETE !!!!!! sets about dispensing with the criminals, each being dispatched in an increasingly more violent and ingenious way. Until a twist means that
MACHETE !!!!!! has the table turned on him and he is at the mercy of the drug lord, non other than Steven Seagal (Torrez) it’s also revealed that
MACHETE !!!!!!'s commanding officer is in on the whole thing and as corrupt as the night is dark. Rather than give
MACHETE !!!!!! an honorable death, the gang remove
MACHETE !!!!!! ’s wife’s head and Segal makes threatening comments about his daughter.
MACHETE !!!!!! is a broken man. But anyone who has ever seen a film knows this is a big mistake bad asses always come back, so I’m still unsure why Segal didn’t kill
MACHETE !!!!!! Fade out.
3 years later we are introduced to Senator John McLaughlin (
Robert De Niro) and Von Jackson (
Don Johnson) when they are patrolling the US-Mex border with their crew, they are on a sport illegal immigrant hunt and brutally slaughter a group attempting a border crossing. Turns out Von Jackson has his own private army that are contracted to patrol the border and he is backed by the Senator John McLaughlin, who is looking to step up politically as well as increase immigration laws. Fade out.


We then find
MACHETE !!!!!! he’s on the US side of the border, without a work permit and trying to scrape a life together as a non descript day labourer. Things aren’t going so well for him. As shown in the trailer Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey) picks him up, presents him with evidence of Senator John McLaughlin’s wrong doings, makes him an offer that involves
MACHETE !!!!!! assassinating McLaughlin and ridding the world
of a bad man and finally threatens him.
Suprisingly rather than kicking the crap out of him MACHETE !!!!!! takes him up on the offer, but surprise, surprise is double crossed framed for shooting McLaughlin and left for dead.
But they just f#cked with the wrong Mexican. What follows is 105 minutes of badassery as
MACHETE !!!!!! lays waste to everything and brings the whole corrupt system down. Or as the official synopsis says;” Double crossed and on the run
MACHETE !!!!!! braves the odds with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), a saucy taco slinger, Padre (Cheech Marin) his "holy" brother, and April (Lindsay Lohan) a socialite with a penchant for guns. All while being tracked by Sartana (Jessica Alba), a sexy ICE agent with a special interest in the blade slinger.
The Skinny
I have to say that despite the cartoonish violence and ham acting (In some cases unintentional ham acting)
MACHETE !!!!!! starts out quite well and well above my expectations. It's not for everyone - even though it draws attention to very relevant social issues particularly with David Cameron’s recent announcement of tightening UK immigration laws. It’s not meant to be taken seriously - it’s a very violent fun cartoon from start to finish. Performances are delivered in the spirit it is meant with tongue firmly in cheek. Around the ¾ mark I did start flagging as I the film was becoming a little repetitive. It’s a fun homage to B-Grade films of the 80s and closer to the mark than
The Expendables. In fact I’m nominating Danny Trejo for the lead villain role in the sequel to
The Expendables -
The Expendables 2: Even more expendable now because Danny Trejo is the villain.
Outstanding
There is a scene set in a hospital where
MACHETE !!!!!! has a stand off against a crew, the build up isn’t great and the slo-mo bit lifted from
The Terminator 2 but
MACHETE !!!!!! has hastily put together a bunch of deadly edged weapons from kit on a surgeons table. He then proceeds to rip the crew apart (literally) removing the intestine from one of them and using it to escape by swinging through the window to the floor below. They don’t teach that shizz in the academy, that’s for sure.
Fear not citizens At the end of
MACHETE !!!!!! a message promises that
MACHETE !!!!!! will be back in Machete Kills & Machete kills again
The
MACHETE !!!!!! are also running a competition on the official UK & Ireland Facebook page for the
MACHETE !!!!!! -
http://www.facebook.com/macheteUKIRE - ‘Go Grindhouse’ asks fans of the page to create a ‘Grindhouse’ style movie poster for a film of their choice. They can then upload it to the page for a chance to win a Playstation 3.
Friday is MACHETE !!!!!! day
MACHETE !!!!!! is slashing big screens from today Friday 26 November
Director: Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Lindsay Lohan
More info:
Over at the
MACHETE !!!!!! website.